3-2 review of cICA nuggets

I’m scanning random cICA notes from the last several days and here are some of the nuggest that pop out.

* in a laser coaching session (ca 20 min) it takes just a minute to name some guidelines at the beginning and can make a huge difference in the session (like: speak your truth, bring truths from different intelligences of the body, profound respect for me, you AND us)

* Check JSonline.com for: going rates, how do I find people, how do I promote my services, If niche, how will I find those people

* Businesses who have a vision and write it down increase their likelihood of success by more than 50%. It’s sortof the way our mind works. And you go in the direction of your thoughts. You will almost organically go in that direction. Nevermind that you shift from doubt into trust as you write a vision.

* marketing – remind people that they have a problem and that you have a possible solution or the solution. Marketing IS about solving problems
In actual coaching you know that YOU never solve their problems, they do, but through the unique process you deliver.

* I do not give advice. (in Policies and Procedures, PP)

* As long as you are growing and learning, stay. The moment you stop growing or learning, let me in on it. It may be that we wish to adjust some structure. It may be that the coaching is complete for now. (in PP)
* As long as you receive value and growth. Stay. The moment it feels as if one of those changes, please notify me immediately. It may be that it is time to re-structure our work, and it may be that the work has come to a natural completion.

* Explore the use of postcards 4×6 design it to appeal in a very quick and short attention grabbing way to your target market

* Business plan – get clear. You’re writing it for the sake of what?

* if you’re not laughing or at least smiling to yourself when you write your vision, then it’s not big enough. Should be a mixture of significance and game, lightness that makes you smile, if not laugh.

* maybe I’m a Scientist in mid-course-consideration/correction coach

* my model: Open Space Coaching
Get clear on your question, where you are now and your vision. Reflect on what is it that MUST change for the vision to come to life. Consider strategies to address those. Create a plan. Begin to move on the plan, expect the barriers to kick back once you begin to execute the plan and get results. This is when the fun begins! At this point, we ride the wave called life, on a solid ground of who you are and what you want … like a master’s surfboard riding the wave. Know that some days you’ll feel everything is going wrong … life didn’t know about your plan. With me you’ll be taking regular, honest looks at the whole picture of reality to take a fresh breath, get fresh energy and clarity and direction.

* Master Mind groups are really like wisdom circles honing in on particular results. Honestly, I’m disinclined to the name, sensing something — forceful. Like this group wants to overpower others by hook or by crook. In fact, now that I read more, the details look very attractive and ameanable to soul. It’s a group of what, in my language, is called “buddies” people who get that by investing energy, heart and skills in each other they are contributing to the world. It’s people who get down and dirty by exposing their honest reactions, informing each other of different perspectives.

* coaching — Celebrating success and failures that lead to learning or new decisions. Measure progress. Select a new goal or path. Repeat as often as desired

* Coaching Models. My peers are clever and resourcesful in their models. I’ve stuck several up on my wall to admire.

* Lucy has a glorious “Avoid Hijack” model which ends with K – Kiss that baby goodbye!

* Rosemary’s tingles with her solid open-hearted richness

* Sally’s is factual and right to the logical point, while spelling out the word “SOAP” and she gives out wombat breath soap as gifts (she’s australian) Love it!

* Richard’s is primarily graphic. It’s simple and poweful.

* each gives them something to talk about to open the conversation with the client.

Take-home messages from the coaching model class
• there’s a huge diversity in what works. each has 1) s’t vivid about them, 2) a sense of the whole, and 3) an ability to visualize the steps.
• everybody brings uniqueness
• no 1 right model .. whatever works (matching the coach) is fine
• examples took the ideal client into account… good idea to first get clear on the ideal client, then work from there

* In coaching process class a nurse spoke of similarities in coaching: have to meet the patient/client where they are — their level of education, how they accept their physical issue and all of that. I state the problem in a way that allows forward motion, and from there things will flow in terms of setting goals and how to meet them.

* the model can stay the same and the process is what you make unique

* We talk easily about our model. Why not about HOW we do it, or what makes us unique? Is there enough of ME in there. What is exceptional about me in the way I coach?

* In coaching, are you IN it or are you an OBSERVER.

* Stories are really really useful for moving people forward. Introduce the idea of the journey with peaks and valleys.

* when you FIRST meet someone ask, “what’s the pressure that they want to leave?” It’s OUR job to releave that pressure. Hey, this is the thing that will get them to come back!! Client realizes — they will support me through some change … they come because they have s’t going on that creates pressure. Help them understand they have the power and it’s attainable and it’s a process of discovery and you can set a clear pathway…. We can work together to co-create a process to get there.

Relaxation exercise. Relax your jaw, shoulders … before this, were you aware of the tension? Close you eyes , relax your jaw, and face so it feels like it’s melting. Can you feel the tension? GO there and just feel the tension.

So when your coachees come, they’ll not be aware of the tension either.
1st relax, be attentive. … get them to feel the tension.

— Create awareness around the tension that’s in their life. We can’t WORK with what we’re not aware of.
— Help them acknowledge the process.
— Give them hope that life doesn’t always have to be that way

A lot of business people are in their heads: logical thought, analogies, situations… a lot of thinking stuff. That’s how they’ve learned to converse.

* Self-hypnosis … a couple deep slow breaths. People reset themselves.
* EST – technique for interrupting habits/ feelings
* Close eyes imagine you’re on a stage at the podium. and it’s a global stage, a world stage, can you see what you’re wearing? I want you to look out into the crowd — see people hear noise excitement they are all clapping, there’s a person standing next to you and she has an award, It’s an award for s’t you’ve done at global level, and everyone is here to witness this. You look down in the crowd right in front of you, and they ‘re watching you .. you see the people right in front you, clapping, some have tears in their eyes, you feel excited, tears well up, it’s been a long journey. What is this award for?
Write it down.
Keep focused, and help decide what to do. If you make a choice you’ll aim for that award, then what do you have to do in your life. Those awards are possible, you just have to do the work. Just, are you prepared to do the work? Which is a beautiful coaching moment. Keep focused, and help decide what to do. If you make a choice you’ll aim for that award, then what do you have to do in your life. Those awards are possible, you just have to do the work. Just, are you prepared to do the work? Which is a beautiful coaching moment.

* say: What MAY feel, some things that MAY come up for you privately and you may not wish to talk about…

* if we’re done “before hand” I say “that sounds like enough today, would you be OK if we left it there” I Feel what you feel. I feel it because they feel it. EMPATHY. That MOMENT can be extremely powerful.

* Look, peaks and valleys can also happen within the HOUR session.

* We won’t always know the value that we bring.

* David Deida work on masculine and feminine energy

* Like the visualization … creative visualizations book. http://www.amazon.com/Creative-Visualization-Shakti-Gawain/dp/8176210625/sr=8-1/qid=1172707469/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1/002-9594231-7332048?ie=UTF8&s=books
You can wrap it up by doing a summary.

* divorce coach – be more collaborative than adversarial

* MAP test on ICF web site

* Jack Zukfelt addresses whole issue of goals. Gets down to core desires and does beautiful job.

* Stephen Shapiro “Goal Free Living” want what you have

* “Inner Game” Timothy Galway

* We think this is a linear process, but it’s not is it.
Obstacles … life. There are things we can anticipate.
Role play w/ client who anticipates roadblock…
* Life is what happens to you while you’re making other plans.
* Quite a lot of time in this class focusing on the language that’s being used – quite a complicated, serious business.
* Make sure the wording works for the client.
* It’s the journey not the destination!

FEEDBACK from several coaching sessions
– focused and on track. Effective, respectful
– Flexible stay right with her
– Be connected, dance in the moment
– What kind of ideas do you have, how do you have that conversation
– really like it when you said, really getting down to the issue… I hear those are approaches to your work, how do they help with expectations …. Youwere bringing her back to the main issue: EXPECTATIONS ON THE NEW JOB.
– 2 times, “what do you think” … you went right back to her
– nice exploring, engaging her to query this out.
– She started off track, and you said “You’re the conflict resolution person”
– Active summary, check back with her. “What options around clarifying expectations.”
– Great recap of everything … managing progress
– “I sense hesitation” excellent
– nice paraphrase… trust yourself and the outcome will be what it is
– championed, and strong support throughout
– “how has makng these calls helped you?
– – Good moving to planning and design of actions
– Opportunities to take a pause… think about this. Next step for co to be totally successful.
– Such great steps and doing so well. Time frame. When do you want to do that?
– Great review of whole plan
– The great team we are together … nothing like being a great team w/ your client.
– lots of creating awareness
– that q very early “what is it you need to boost your confidence” really great direct Q
– you said “what I’m hearing, you’re Q your ability”
– what if it’s a disaster … what if? Started reframe process.
– Can we look at a possible reframe? Like that you asked
– Activity to write it down in own words, put gains there. Really great, she happy to do that. Lots of planning and goal setting. Can you do that in the next week
– New perspective… “focus on fear will keep you stuck rather than focusing on possibility”
– You always check back in with her. Honoring, respecting… how does that idea go with you?
– Love … just imagine where you’ll be in a year’s time… develop ability, create more awareness… she said “wow”
– Just as I thought you were done, you went fuerther.. fail is not fail… what else could she do to keep reframe in focus. Metaphor. Action plan ask for feedback. What was take away.

* Success team. Certain people. Anybody have a success team in place.
Jonathon … who lined up… type of people:
– other coaches in master mind
– personal coach through ICA
– accounting (fiancée) finances
– family attourney
these will contr to the overall success. The mastermind is the bread and butter.
What’s so important.
The MM team is like-minded people contr to a common goal. I’m not seeking people. Just allowing them to come to me. 2 people bring things to table.
Marketing, accounting. Creativity design. Can spend time building each other’s business. My core 3-5 people who I’ll always contact 3-4 times a week each week of my life. Like my board of directors.
* As a new coach I had a MM group with 6 coaches. Diff specialty. Diff places in the world. On conf line every other week. All talked about what doing, building business. It was HIGHLY valuable for me. Helped me talked over any issues.

* Overdeliver every single time and people can’t help but want to do business with you.


* Make sure all clients have P&P and go over it on the first call. Very very clear upfront

* – coaching no guarantee of results because it’s personal growth therefore you are fully responsible for any results that you get. It’s not mentoring, consulting, etc. so if you expect that from me I cannot provide those services.

* Integrity is all about having a good night’s sleep

* I work with fragile people … we review their agreement each session.

* These aren’t payments for services these are investments for your development.

* Leave judgment, egos and biases at the door.
get into the here and now

* #2 are there examples of mandatory/key that should go into agreement? Essential
Who has some thoughts, feedback?
– confidentiality
– ICF conduct/ ethics so they can go and review any time
– Fees
– Info on changed, cancellations and missed calls, rescheduling
– How it works: # times, nuts and bolts
– Liability … tell me more. You are responsible for your own actions and results. I am resp structure and process.
– Often articulate. We are not psychologists, financial planner. Should I feel they need any other service, I will refer them on.
– I do not give advice.

* On death — Death and Dying, Final Gifts, When Someone You Love is Dying, Sacred Dying, Tales for the Dying, Dying Well, Hospice Choice, The Mourning Handbook, The Art of Dying (anything by Elizabeth Kubler-Ross)

* On Coaching — The Portable Coach.
Mary Beth O’Neill’s Executive Coaching with Backbone and Heart.
She defines an individual coach’s style as her “signature presence”. To strengthen your presence, she suggests:

1. Choose a content and/or process goal (for each session)
2. Know your vulnerability in a reactive system
3. Remember your goal.
4. Be more committed to your goal than easing your discomfort in the moment.

* around session feedback. This can be moved out of the session itself by sending a mid-week mail asking for feedback. Fastest/shortest feedback is “Start/Stop/Continue” where you ask “What do you feel it may be time now to start in our sessions” (likewise with stop and continue). This can get right to the core without the felt need for defensiveness and story.

SOME QUOTES/Sayings I like

* Be the person your dog thinks you are.

* So you see, imagination needs moodling – long, inefficient, happy idling, dawdling and puttering. ~ Brenda Ueland 1891-1985

* The greatest good you can do for another is not just to share your
riches, but to reveal to him his own. – Anonymous

* If you want to succeed, stay on the left side of but.

* As above, so below. As below, so above The idea is you can focus on either level, and get to the same place. This was in a converstion of my “sometimes the little things ARE the big things and the big things are the little things” Which I use more when people are in the perspective that the little things don’t matter.

* Those who do not create the future they want must endure the future
they get. ~ Draper L. Kaufman, Jr., in Systems One

* One can never consent to creep when one feels an impulse to soar. – Helen Keller

* To be successful, have your heart in your business and your business in your heart. – Thomas Watson

* Far away there in the sunshine are my highest aspirations. I may not reach them, but I can look up and see their beauty, believe in them, and try to follow where they lead. – Louisa May Alcott
My version is … knowing where the center of the target is doesn’t guarantee that you’ll hit it, but it gives you a game to improve.

* Don’t wait for a light to appear at the end of the tunnel, stride
down there and light the bloody thing yourself. ~Sara Henderson

* “I dream about a kind of criticism that would try not to judge but to bring
an oeuvre, a book, a sentence, an idea to life; it would light fires, watch
the grass grow, listen to the wind, and catch the sea foam in the breeze
and scatter it. It would multiply not judgments but signs of existence; it
would summon them, drag them from their sleep. Perhaps it would invent
them sometimes — all the better.

“Criticism that hands down sentences sends me to sleep; I’d like a
criticism of scintillating leaps of imagination. It would not be sovereign or
dressed in red. It would bear the lightning of possible storms.”

-Michel Foucault, “The Masked Philosopher,” interview in *Le Monde,*

* we rise to greater heights by a winding staircase. Frances Bacon

* My life is an indivisible whole,
and all my activities run into one another;
and they have their rise in my
insatiable love of mankind.
Mahatma Gandhi

* True vocation” — the place where your deep gladness and
the world’s deep hunger meet. ~Frederick Buechner

* What lies before us and what lies behind us
are small matters compared to
what lies within us.
And when we bring what is within
out into the world, miracles happen.’
Henry David Thoreau.

To be where we are, and to become
what we are capable of becoming,
is the only end in life.’
Robert Louis Stevenson

We shall not cease from exploration
and the end of all our exploring
will be to arrive where we started from
and know that place for the first time.’
T.S. Eliot

There’s more gems in the week’s notes but this is all I have time to review for now.

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