This is taken from a letter to a friend. where I think on paper about this question.
Visionary craniosacral spirit brought to coaching
I believe it takes our inner selves about 3 seconds to know our relationship to another soul. Blam. Just like that. Our logical mind then steps in for it’s assigned role and tells us it can’t be true and it may take years for the mind to allow itself to name its conclusion. When we connect with that soul piece, that answer slips right in. Do I digress?
If I may … this conversation is helping me verbalize some very important distinctions in who I am and what I bring to coaching.
My work or calling is with the souls within the roles and labels.
The dysfunctional and fragile as well as the well prepared to take life on.
My take: We are all of us broken by life. All of us.
And none of us are really ever prepared for that, the same way people say “we are all surprised by death”. I can imagine it is so.
Our “breaks” in life probably, likewise, take us all by surprise and we are offended in a very deep place. Then whatever happens next, happens. And, then, when life happens such that we *mend* our broken place, it becomes the place of our uniqueness, our greatest power and gift. So, perhaps we are all fragile, and at different places in the mending process, and in different relationships to our fragile-ness.
I am about empowerment and participating in a journal with the client that is judgment reduced and rewards enhanced.
Participating in journaling with the client — intriguing and attractive.
At this moment: I am about awareness as a key piece of empowerment … all of us DO have our answers inside ourselves when we connect to them. Important to me is accessing both the here-and-now, and the full wisdom of the body.
It can help to have people around who hold the space for our gifts to surface and be valued. Is this part of your journalling with the client?
Which moves to empowerment. And journal …. yes, connecting with awareness. An aside — I have a sense that journaling — when done with a pen/pencil on paper, even more than on computer — allows for a fuller embodiment of the truths, and that’s 2-way. I see it as the body’s wisdom comes out in the shapes/expression of the words on paper. Then this physicality feeds back into the body. I myself journal more on a keyboard but feel it sometimes is so fast I don’t fully experience what has happened.
Bodies are definitely a theme with me.
Now, I am fully mindful that my intention to access the wisdom of the body can be a powerful trigger to … everyone, actually … when so much that happens to our bodies may be taken as “not OK” and therefore disowned and cut off. It’s the incredibly gentle (take all the time in the world) re-connecting with these shut-down places that happens in my bodywork and I intend to bring it to the coaching.
For me, my deepest belief is that what IS, is fine. Living that belief is another thing full of challenges.
When that becomes the felt experience, barriers melt and aliveness spreads into those places. This cannot be rushed. It only when it’s the right time for the client. I’m willing to wait forever in the presence of this work. Just the intention is powerful. It’s soul work. It happens in its own time. My “job” is to have my heart open, witnessing and holding the intention ever so lightly.
Bodies are just treasure troves for wisdom and growth.
My mantra, if you will, is Real, Funny, Committed.
Hmmm, what’s my mantra-of-the-moment?
present, accepting all, lightly looking forward
Cool. Connect with your core passion. I easily endorse that.
I want to create a virtual (due to distance) environment with you that will allow clients to enhance their lives and inner beauty, understanding that this will take work and commitment on their behalf.
Great. This is the “groundwork” part I spoke of last time. I feel you do this exceedingly well. How people come in the door is so important. When they are well prepared for what’s going to happen, it can just happen.
group work. challenging. great. I accept the concept and quickly jump to wanting to flesh this out … the technical aspects, the flow of relationship, an wide image of the playing field, visualize and get agreement on my role.
The way for me to know is to start doing, to get results, to judge by results and to keep connected in giving/receiving feedback/input.
While starting anything I like to build in near-term stop points to reflect. Until we have a grounded sense of the game underway it’s impossible, of course, to see too far ahead. Keeping in alignment seems to be of very high importance, and a challenge which I see and wish to name.
I have current clients that have fears and thoughts of death that I can refer to you.
I need to rely on you particularly here for real clarity on the potential for suicide or self-inflicted harm. They and I may need to know that they have a network of responsible people (whatever that means, maybe means you, me and 2 others in their support network) they will notify if that becomes a serious consideration. I’d be trusting your in-person assessment and giving you feedback if I had concerns. Actually this is equally true in all cases.
And at the end of the day, aren’t we ALL holding a considerable amount of greatness. And back to my honor word … I’m honored when people bring that piece to share with me.
… RE: research paper on coaching
I feel I need to get really quiet and when the time is right a very particular topic will show up, which holds a kind of key for me.
Informally my whole life. I’ve called it various things. In 1992 I became advisor to PhD and MS students in science and that was the first formal coaching I did. Of course the (mostly unspoken) policies and procedures were different. When I spoke my own, at odds to the university culture people were shocked and I learned a lot there about who I am and what I believe that is contrary to where I was located.
This is an email … but feels more like writing the beginning of a book.