‘What would you do about the situation in Iran?’

This is my husband’s answer to the Telegraph. “This Iranian hostage crisis is a comedy goldmine!”

Surely our course of action is obvious? First we should apologize to the Iranians for infringing upon their territory and generally grovel sufficiently to induce them to return the fifteen hostages. Next we should rapidly and unilaterally withdraw all our forces from Iraq, but in a final face-saving rearguard action, the Royal Navy should bombard the Iranian side of Shatt al-Arab and anywhere else within range. This will probably lead to a UN resolution “deploring” Britain’s actions, but condemnation by the UN will only increase our street credibility in the global community, much like a sort of international ASBO.

But the best is yet to come: by satisfying public demand to “bring our boys home” while giving Iran a bloody nose at the same time, Blair will at last have made everyone happy and he can thus finally step down, secure in his “legacy”. Brown then moves into number 10, and since the UK will no longer have access to Middle Eastern fossil fuels, our oil-based economy will be forced to a halt and Gordon will thus see the triumphant fulfillment of his “green” ambitions too.

If that’s not a “win-win” scenario, then I don’t know what is. I’m surprised Mr B’Stard hasn’t proposed it already.

Posted by Ronald McDiplomat on March 31, 2007 2:05 AM

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