Just saw this “Most people have the will to win, few have the will to prepare to win.”
Bobby Knight (who’s that?) This seems suited to the topic in my mind, as people ask the 3 questions in the title a lot. So much of coaching is preparing to win, together. One aspect is clarity about what is on offer.
Let’s see how I can use – and reuse – this blog entry as a container for these 3 questions.
First, comments from observers
Your coaching presence creates a very safe space for your clients. Very strong use of acknowledgment and accessing intuition in your coaching sessions. // Good job of building trust and rapport with client at the beginning. Strong active listening and acknowledgment. You trusted your inner knowing about talking about what was going on in your own body, and asking what is going on in your client’s body. Lots of laughter and humor in this session. // Good job in asking questions that supported the client to release her nervousness, and build trust for the session. Active listening and acknowledgment were strong in this session. This showed the power of coaching in a short time frame, as there was a clear request for action. // Good check-in and clearing at beginning. Great listening, allowing the client to speak fully about what is on her mind. Very aligned with pace and rhythm of client. // Started session with asking for agenda and also what the client wanted to have happen by the end – very powerful. Strong use of celebrating successes. Lots of open-ended questions which were very beneficial for the client.// You kept her on track—great active listening with focus. Good questions! //
My Coaching Process
very in the moment // dialogue // mirroring back // I ask to be directed (feedback, suggestions, helpful models, assignments, re-framing, game) // notice the intention at the beginning of each series or session then at the end notice if and how we met that intention or brought something of greater value into being // very like Open Space Technology with it’s 4 principles and 1 law and spirit of responsibility and passion // very like craniosacral in its deep quite presence to holding the space for one’s own system to guide and release and engage // very like dialogue in exquisite attention to what is unfolding in the moment
My Coaching Models
For me this sounds rigid. Each session or client may call on another model. Models are useful only as far as they are useful. If it’s needed i’ve come up with it in a moment (like my bio earlier in the blog). If it’s not asked for (like the bio) I have no interest at all in creating one.
It also sounds like giving [false] assurances of “safety” when the felt sense of safety and motion are, in my opinion, far more valuable, and in fact what I excel in, I am told. It’s certainly a place I put a lot of attention in a professional setting.
People have suggested that I take the letters of the words “in the moment” and create a story of coaching from this principle which is very important to me. For whatever reason, this concept is de-motivating. If I hit on a model-naming process that is motivating, I will post it here.
I’m almost more comfortable with a process-based model … like brain-based coaching, or research coaching. These are models of processes I’m happy to use. They link back to the professor-identity/role I know very well.
My Coaching Style
I create space soulfulspace, I use a lot of humor, I connect at a deep level with my client in the place they have invited my presence. People say I am intuitive. What I say is that I use my body a lot as guidance in the moment. I speak about these messages to the degree the client gives me permission.
I have very strong logical skills which I generally downplay in coaching but which I’m happy to access when asked. One of my favorite pages in my welcome pack is my “101+ things I offer you”. Mostly I put it out there to let clients know that if they ask I will be more than happy to do any of those things.
It is THEY/YOU/The CLIENT who direct(s) the process.