Deb Kolb is a buddy/guide/coach I sometimes dance with. I’m lucky in having several people like her around me. Our dance is “about” me and my journey. We dialogue about life. Mostly I talk. She asks great questions, then remembers my answers and reminds me sometime later. She sent these today.
I guess it’s like dreamwork. Personal answers for 1 person may have powerful symbolism, messages for others. In that spirit I share.
Any of these could be themes for stories or dialogues or poems. Just bits of life. All of these are things I’ve said, believing them fully as I said them. Of course, editor Jane now reads them and wonders how fully any of them are true. I guess it’s not about truth, but insight.
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the importance of speaking into a profound listening space
This may be the question of my life! — How do I make sure I have the help I need when I need it?
Obstacles are: Noise and energetic Burden
My challenge: quietly, gently … or whatever way I can, step away from energy draining people around me. Take further steps together with energy giving people around me
Cringes happen to reveal me to me.
Responsible For –vs- Responsible To. Body care keeps me responsible To
I’m intrigued by being quiet in the midst of chaos.
I value: peace, quiet, awareness in the moment, helping others to be here & now, ability to be honest, to be able to say what is.
Struggling with letting go of things that aren’t right for me.
How to be open without putting up boundaries? I am open and will play with anyone on their game boards.
Repeating issues: Sense of ‘I am alone’ and ‘not safe.’
Am I trying to do something that is against my nature?
Hold a stance of ‘No History’
‘Let it go’ muscle needs to be exercised
Use the mind to notice but not lead
me as hostess – everything happened smooth as butter.
It’s my 2nd nature to support.
Noticing times of deep recognition and appreciation of Jane by others
Allowing in the things that resonate …. Allow myself to ZING !!!
Glaring counter → any time I find myself called on to ‘manage’ someone
I’m tired of explaining and teaching
That’s the sign that this is for me – Total Ease, No Effort
Coaching: My intention for payment for coaching: clear sense of worth for each session of 10,000 NT. What people ACTUALLY pay is not nearly as important as finding that it’s worth 10,000. My long-term clients will be willing to play a different game.
“Here’s the game. Do you want to play? It’ll be fun.“
Feel like I’m poised at the end of a diving board and by next week I’ll be in the pool
Something’s got to happen. I’m waiting to figure out relationship status
I wish I could get my heart @ a real effective take on who I now really am and how I can best operate.
Immediately met by strangers as ME.
There are people who are anchors and I bounce between the anchors.
I need to put ideas in enough order so that when someone asks, I know exactly what is and can communicate that clearly and tell them how I operate and how they can engage.
Jane’s challenge: To be very clear about who I am and how I work.
‘I am the leader’
I don’t need to accommodate others
I provide something that is meaningful to others but they are not dependent on – it’s not a burden
UNBURDENED – there is no burden, no attempted guilt
I tried to be vanilla and that is not me
I was invisible for 6 years
I facilitated Paul for years and didn’t get paid
Gift of the Fishbone – Taught me what struggling and suffering is → I am able to be present in the face of someone’s deep, deep suffering and struggle
I can be present and hold a space – A lot of people let their smoke screens go @ me
when I just talk, sometimes people jump in to label Jane as ego control
When I push I destroy me –things don’t flow, I can’t spark.
Fishbone stops the flow <In dream work … there’s a fishbone stopping my creativity. It’s a little thing but been there for a long time. Getting it out is a simple thing but won’t be done until it’s done. Then I’ll go “oh, there it is!” and get on with life without being blocked>
Fishbone shows up when I am doing BIG things
Fishbone blocks me from saying what’s really going on
Triggers me to focus on what’s not real or important
Why was fishbone created?
Used to be all sorts of outrageous things happened too easily for me → teach me compassion for others
What precedes the arrival of the fishbone?
Pushing, trying to make something happen
What comes before the pushing?
Where I am is not the right place. If I stay here I need to push because this is not the right place.
I need to stop telling the stories and go with the knowing that I am here for a good reason
If the Fishbone was a Wishbone , what would you wish for??
I wish for it to stay there
It helps me pay attention past surface story
Use stories to get to deeper knowing and learning
Humor and delight as it all unfolds
Deepen trust in my deep knowing
Story of taxi driver who lets go of his smoke screen and says ‘I love what I do’
Life full of humor, delight and a deep knowing