Finding Peace in a Coaching Session

What’s Happening in a Session?
Is it Focused Active Reflection?

“The very best and utmost of attainment in this life is to remain still and let God act and speak in thee.” ~ Meister Eckhart

and … Healing, cure and restoration are active processes.


I’m a bodyworker.
Once I was asked to go to the hospital to visit a man in the final stages of lung cancer. Noone knew if I could help, including me. I agreed to visit and talk. When we got around to it, I asked what he’d like from my help. He said he didn’t know what was on offer, but what he really wanted was to have a way he himself could reduce his pain. I taught him, and everyone in the room, a simple, powerful Tibetan breathing exercise, TongLen Breathing. A couple more times I came to visit an offered hands-on energy work. It was not comfortable for him and we stopped. Some time after his death, his family told me, you know he took that breathing practice to heart. Everyone did. He was using it the day he died. Someone remarked to him that it was really good he had a tool he could use himself to reduce his pain. After some silence, he remarked that in fact it didn’t reduce the pain at all, it simply made it so the pain no longer mattered.

It’s like this with my coaching model. I have skills, experience and the intention to assist you. I’m certainly not in charge. The one doing the work is you. The one guiding is you, and the one with the insider information. You share what you wish to share.

Now as to death, we’re all in the final stages of something or other, and in the beginning stages of other things. It’s not really death, but it may feel like it consciously or unconsciously. So, in a sense we are close personal friends with death, constantly experiencing the end of situations or feelings or relationships. If you think about it, any change whatsoever, is a death of what was previously true. And hanging on to something too long is also a death, a death of appropriateness or vibrancy.

In my coaching I offer a space, a safe and sacred space for bringing everything to the table, for unpacking the luggage and looking clearly at what’s on-board in your life, then consciously allowing the view to come into focus to choose the road ahead.

It’s like a 2-person wisdom circle.
* We step outside of the do-ing of everyday routine.
* We reflect on your agenda.
* I have no position with regard to your outcomes.
* My role is to assist you establishing and maintaining action around your goal.
* Our conversation is confidential.
* We tend to the different levels of reality … the facts, feelings, findings and future decisions
* We consider the whole-picture (all the parts of you, your life, your situation.
* We realize that from every part of that picture there is an equally-valid, yet different, message/truth

By inviting in all the levels, all the pieces you will get a next step to action. At times it’s exactly what you came in saying you were looking for, at times it’s something you see as distinctly better. At times there’s no particular comparison to be made but you’re clear what to do. That’s the point.

And in this, peace is to be found.

The more players in the drama can be accessed, the fuller the answer you will get

The whole puzzle comes to focus when each piece can be seen and experienced for what it is.

All kind of things will go on. All kinds of things are on offer. Grief work.
Belief work. Body work. Play. New perspectives. Powerful questions. Distinctions.

Moves and Practices in Opening Space

Responding vs reading
Dialogue vs debate
Conversational moves: demand.
Satir Family roles and rules

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