Why I even looked here today, I’m not so sure. But then I clicked stats (why not?) and there are over 23,000 hits. Hmm. Who knows why. If any of those are checking for life on this blog. Here it is. If there’s anything I’m up to that you’d like to hear more about, let me know. Otherwise I just do it, and don’t write about it. ^_^
Archive Page 2
I just found I my top searches are:
baby foot in brain, baby with foot in brain, baby foot brain, baby belly,
baby born with foot in brain
wow. That’s interesting. I do have that wonderful photoshopped baby foot-print in the belly image from my craniosacral friend Deb.
Now I’m the one who’ll go and search those words. Also I’m going to go look up how the foot is formed, and from what. How would that work, to have the foot show up at the end of the day, in the head cavity. Hmm. Well, it’s a stimulating thought for a winter solstice.
or maybe I’ll take a walk in the fresh sunny cool Taipei air.
This isn’t something a hospital would ever want to have happen.
This morning I reported for my weekly volunteer stint in the hospice ward of the National Taiwan Hospital and everywhere people seemed nervous, irritable – amygdala hijack operating everywhere. So I asked what was behind the sense of chaos. Quick answer “There’s no chaos here! … oh.” And it turns out 2 days ago there was an explosion in the surgery rooms, and a fire and 1 dead, 1 injured and smoke and ash throughout the hospital and patients “evaculated” to the lobby downstairs and noone knew exactly what was happening. Oh. This morning we dealt with such things as PVC pipe glue taste in the water cooler (drain the water, open up the system, wait for new water source) and ash around the place. Mostly it was just helping restore of sense of the boredom of clear procedure. When amygdala gets triggered, stand back.
Lesson here. um … For my part, I noticed my break-through-it manner took the form of smarmy, clever-trousers. Probably didn’t feel very loving. People were running circles in nervousness around me. Was it helpful? What’s the most helpful thing to do when people are in hijack? Get them out. Throw water on them. I’m reminded of Milton Erickson’s advise … do the thing people don’t expect. Maybe the smarmy was useful. It certainly froze the person I was speaking with and popped them out of their repetitive behaviour.
What I did well: got people out. broke the trance. Noticed self get into the trance.
What I might do differently next time: stay connected with a loving heart, by ..??? working on some of my personal rituals that I can carry throughout the day. Meta. Breath. Cherokee Dance. Circulating light. Some of these I’ve not done all week. Observation: It DOES make a difference when I’m consciously utilizing these.
Today for the second time in a week someone mentioned this blog to me, asking when I’d write more. Gosh! Long time. Over a year I now see. It’s a bit hard to type as the persian cat has decided this is the moment for her to make use of my fingers and specifically my knuckles for her facial massage. This may be a short message. I’ll just use this as a chance to contemplate what’s changed in a year.
First, I finished the ICA coaching program. It’s the 4th program I’ve been in, and the best I’d say for coaching. In the last year I’ve coached pretty much every week. Academic or research coaching is clearly what I do, even if it’s research one’s own life. Cutting through the story to the facts is pretty important there. Also I’ve got a strong somatic element and intuitive. I usually keep up one peer coach relationship, though that’s slipped recently, and in the last year I’ve done 2 coach series with ICA students as a give-back to the group. My 2 PhD student – coachees graduated and went off their respective ways, with the occassional phone session, and I’m finding that no matter what else I’m doing (mostly academic editing and facilitating) coaching has become a key part.
Cat’s keen on having my hands back, so that’s it for now.
Now, can I ask who the 50 people are who are coming here each day?
Under a day ago, now, I handed in the 11th of 11 items for completion of the cICA program, my record of participation. If I were starting with a similar task again I’d have a record-buddy, someone who agreed to be the holder of the records. That’d make it fun and meaningful for me to report in each time I took a class.
Surely I’ll have a chance to apply this new wisdom somewhere in my life. It’s like my friend NW agreeing to respond with a messaged cheer each time I reported a part of my paperwork going in. I’d do it for the cheer. I’m that kinda person.
By the way, this time she called to give a cheer real-time!
Deadline for handing in my 11 items is now past, and (surprise!) nothing external changed. Internally I’m relaxed and joyful and I continue my work. Yesterday morning and this morning I woke luxuriously, slowly. I have a record-keeping task ahead of me, and so re-visit my deep aversion to keeping records. Part of me doesn’t care, won’t push against this, and just rides this wave out. Another part is curious what in the world is going on.
A few times in the last year I sat to organize the records. It’s hard to describe what happened then. It was like an internal explosion. Some part of me SO didn’t want to do this. UAC (unconscious automatic commitment). Trapped in a very dangerous place. Even now as I think of this I’m suddenly hot, the mirror shows my face burning. So my response?
Just not do it and trust all will resolve in due course, and be well with the world. And it is (which is true, no matter what happens, I realize).
Resolution has been to
– have a conversation with the record-receivers (warm and compassionate human beings, of course)
– clear the decks (10 of the 11 items done)
– sit to this task calmly and begin. Deadline has passed but the motivation and momentum continues. I feel as if I’m in new and very comfortable territory.
and I continue.